Bucket of Useless Statements – Statement #324

13 Sep

In the bucket of completely useless statements people make:

“You’ve gained weight”

Really? Thanks! It has actually completely escaped my mind to look in the mirror for the past few months, and all I own are elastic string clothing, so I haven’t noticed. No wonder I can’t see my feet anymore! You’re such a pal for letting me know!

Ironically, I’m writing this as I’m eating a macadamia nut chocolate chip cookie. No need to mention if I gain any weight, my pants are happy to let me know the news as soon as it happens.

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